Wang Dang Doodle you Champagne Socialist and Chardonnay Whore

RHOA

Well my friends it’s the last episode of RHOAuckland.  WOW.  I really enjoyed this season- just not the n word part.  I physically cried when that happened it was such a horrible thing.

But the rest of it was a blast.  We start off the episode reliving, “WANG DANG DOODLE!” Cubby Bear you are a treat.  No wonder Anne chose you out of her 50 other engagements to go through with.  Angela Stone is an attention whore.  Of course her and ignorant Julia are the best of pals now.  Ignorance is bliss until you get called out ladies.

Gilda helps Michelle’s hubby plan her birthday party.  Spend that money ladies.  You don’t have to work to make it so who cares, right?  It seems this party is to impress the cameras.

Louise hosts a late night talk radio show.  Not many people are calling in at 1am.  Anne comes to guest host and speak about her pussy and champagne interests.  A caller calls in and says that they are far removed from the real nitty gritty New Zealand society.  That is a true statement.  Louise calls him a dick and a Champagne Socialist.  True statements as well.

Michelle’s birthday starts out with a heli ride to the island estate where her friends are gathered.  Angela why are you bringing you French prop PA to a birthday party? Michelle fakes being annoyed at the blindfold and fakes being surprised at the party.  She knew this was happening and hey- she is stoked.  She needed the pressure of being on Bravo to make her husband step up his losing money birthday game.

Julia and Angela made it apparent earlier that they are out to get Louise.  They team up on Louise, the voice of reason shit talking backstabber at the party.  Who will win this fight?  Turns out Gilda does. They are acting as bottom feeders and know they are on the outs in the group.  Julia- morality is “principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong.”  Calling someone a derogatory term as a thinly veiled joke is bad morals.  It’s much deeper than “saying some stupid things.” Gilda is tough on Julia and she fucking deserves that.*

This Julia and Angela combo is a trainwreck.  They then present their weird candelabra birthday gifts.  I hate gifts for birthdays over the age of 18 but hey if anyone deserves some presents this season it’s Michelle!  Louise didn’t bring a gift which I think is fine because that happens sometimes.  I forget things like that all the time.  But now a scene will be made about it.  Louise you fucking kill me how you can handle any situation coming out on top!  Invite Michelle to lunch- saved by the bell!

Julia and Angela call out Louise for calling Michelle a golddigger.  Boring… But they add some tense music and make it feel like it’s a big deal after being called the n word this season… Basically you like luxury lady.  It’s almost a compliment.  Then Angela tries to lay into Gilda.  Gilda calls her a Chardonnay Whore.  I LOVE IT.  That should be the next skinny girl release.  Gilda makes fun of Angela’s fake books- Take a bath, be happy, wear something you look good in.  What if you are living in a war zone and don’t have a bathtub?  Angela Stone is no Marcus Aurelius.

The episode ends with so much tension it’s a shame the franchise hasn’t been renewed.  The last few notes are Anne calling for Champagne which is sweet.  Goodbye Auckland.  May you Rest In Peace.

*All Julia got was some wine in the face for saying that shit.  You will get kung fu kicked in the gut for saying bitch (Porsha and Cynthia) in ATL.

 

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One thought on “Wang Dang Doodle you Champagne Socialist and Chardonnay Whore

  1. The title of your recap says it all. ❤
    After this season, I really like Gilda, and think Louise is a bit of a badass. I will miss these ladies, but not the racist.

    Like

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