Balls Voyage, and Chakras for Jesus

megha ear cuff 2The Real Housewives of Orange County-Season 12, Episode 13

The couples get ready for Lydia’s Balls Voyage party for Doug.  The party is on a boat, on a boat, take a good hard look at the muthafuckin boat .
Meghan and Jim shows up first, with Meghan wearing a really cool ear cuff. Lydia tells her she feels hurt that she called her in the middle of a party to which she was not invited.
Everyone except sick Vicki arrives. The husbands hang outside, while Lydia and the other women talk about the party.  Everyone does a Spartacus move, and claims they were the one who didn’t invite Lydia, which makes Lydia feel more hurt.

Outside on the Husband clubhouse deck, David questions Diko about Peggy’s cancer.  Stop already. Stop digging for dirt with people’s health issues!  Diko explains that Peggy did have cancer in her biopsy.
Lydia proposes a toast to Doug’s balls.  Peggy learns about Push Presents, and feels robbed.  Diko, you owe her three presents for birthing your children!

Kelly goes to get a colonic, Vicki comes to join her, with medical records in tow to prove she really had this rare flu.  Vicki, I get keeping receipts but that’s a lot.
Lydia calls her mom, a.k.a. our beloved Judy, pixie-dust sprinkler, and pot smoker queen for comfort during Doug’s vasectomy, but she is of no help for some reason. Judy, come back on the show more!
Back at the colonic clinic, Vicki gets a very emotional colonic.  She starts crying, and wishes she could be loved by her friends, especially Tamra.

It’s Easter Sunday, and everyone is celebrating.  My prayers were answered, because Judy is at Lydia’s house!
Shannon talks with her mom about the weight she gained, and talks about how she is disgusted with her body, and that David must be too. She mentions the problems she has been having with David lately, and that she keeps thinking about the affair.  Her mom gives her advice, as her mom has been through the same thing herself.  It’s great to see Shannon being able to talk about this with someone who loves her more than anyone else in this world except her children, and her mom knows what she is going through.

Peggy shows her children how to make pastries.  She mentions how displeased she is that everyone is talking about her cancer. It’s one of their business, and it’s not coming from a place of genuine concern.  I am on Peggy’s side all the way.  Her girls feel bad that their mom has to deal with this.

At Lydia’s house, Peggy and Doug teach their kids a little about Easter.  Our Judy mentions to her grandchildren that the rainbow eggs are all the colors of the chakras .  She beings out crowns for Easter for her and Lydia.  I love this woman so very much.

Shannon and her family are enjoying her mom’s visit.  David decides to ruin dinner, and says Shannon needs to get that silver spoon out of her mouth.  David asks if the kids apprecite they have a really nice lifestyle.  The kids basically tell him to shut it, as he needs to stop treating Shannon this way, especially in front of the girls.

Vicki makes cookies with Steve and her grandsons. She tells him that she really needs to talk to Tamra alone, and that Shannon is the reason why she and Tamra have not made up.

Tamra and Lydia are workin it out at the gym, and Tamra mentions she misses Vicki.  At the same time, Vicki asks Steve what he thinks.  He says she should just fix her relationship with Tamra and ignore Shannon.
Back at the gym, Tamra is still talking to Lydia bout how much she misses Vicki, and then Vicki calls!  This isn’t scripted at all! Vicki asks her to come talk for a while about their friendship. Tamra agree to go to see her all gym sweaty.   What will happen?

What did we learn this week? Push Presents are a fun idea, colonics can make you emotional, don’t mess with Peggy, Judy is amazing, and David needs to just leave the show.

Aoife, TV Guru

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