Scared Famous – Season one, episode one, Savannah Horror Stories
We’re outside of Savannah, at an abandoned-looking estate. Ten VH1 reality stars will soon arrive, to get through weekly challenges and eliminations in order to win one-hundred thousand dollars for their favorite charity.
The first to arrive is Sky from Black Ink Crew. She quickly gets freaked out by the house. The next is my girl Drita, from Mob Wives! Sky is very happy to see Drita too, because she knows she will be safe. Don’t mess with Drita! Safaree from Love and Hip Hop shows up next. He mentions he is afraid of insects and “anything that’s not human”…that’s just bad editing at its finest. Nikki from Love and Hip Hop appears, and immediately, Safaree insists on being her roommate. Young Joc from Love and Hip Hop shows up, and claims he’s not afraid of anything. Nikki mentions the cab driver told her the house they are in is haunted, and there was mention of a yellow fever epidemic. Drita says if she sees anything “spiritual”, she’s out. I think Drita would beat a ghost if given the chance.
Erica from Love and Hip Hop arrives next. She claims she isn’t afraid. Don Benjamin, and Eva from America’s Top Model come into the house Eva “The Diva” is not going to take anything from ghosts, either. Erica starts to freak out because her leg is bleeding for “no reason”.
New York has arrived!! She is pleased with the men in the house, but is freaked out that Erica is bleeding and says there is “energy in the corners”, because “they’re watching us”. She says they can figure out why, but she needs a cocktail first. Yes, New York. This group needs some drinks.
The group sits together, discussing their favorite scary movie, and Redman walks into the room. Everyone gets excited! He mentions he is not moving in, and that everyone is in for some spooky stuff, and explains the challenge, and elimination process. He says tonight’s first challenge will involve them getting dirty and grimy.
Everyone settles in, and starts snacking in the kitchen. Everyone is being friendly, but some, like Safaree, are just scoping out the competition. They wonder what tonight’s competition will be. A ghostly Hieeeeeeeeeee is heard, and Alaska walks in the room! Somehow, she is not recognized by all, but intrigues everyone. She asks everyone if anyone has ever been possessed by a demon, and is happy when the answer is no.
It’s time for the first challenge. Everyone is in a graveyard with Redman, and dressed in blue jumpsuits. There are bags hidden everywhere in grave-sized holes, and everyone will have to dig to find them…with their fingers! All the people with manicures are not pleased. The first one to find a satchel is Alaska. Drita is alarmed by worms crawling in her grave, the others are grossed out, and there is a foul smell that has been added by production. Alaska says this is harder than a Drag Race challenge. How is that possible? Redman says “it smells like feet and ass in here”, which means time is up. It looks like Drita collected the most satchels. She asks Redman if the group found all the satchels, and the answer is yes. The winning team gets fifty-thousand dollars in their bank.
Back at home, everyone gets comfortable again. Drita says hauntings scare the shit out of her,because you can’t fight the supernatural. Have I mentioned I love Drita? Because I love Drita. If ghosts are real, you can fight them. We all know this, believe!
Later on, in the middle of the night, the group hear spooky recorded sounds from the living room. Erica starts screaming, “What do you want from us”, and it’s just a sad moment for scripted reality shows. I don’t know why the producers had to add this faux frightening moment.
It’s the next morning, and the only one who had a good night’s sleep is New York, because she needed Safaree to sleep with her so she could feel safe. New York is feeling a connection with Safaree. Safaree is more than pleased to help New York out with her sleeping situation.
Drita reads the history of the house, from a book the producers left for the group. In the late 19th century, there was an yellow fever outbreak in the area. A doctor and his family moved to the estate, and were untouched by the outbreak. They had a pair of twins who disappeared in the woods. Spooky.
The house has also been an orphanage for children, and a hospital. I was wondering how the show was going to handle the Pre-Civil War history of the place, and the answer is, they just left it out.
The doors of an armoir in the dining room, just open up! Alaska goes to see what’s inside, but realizes there is nothing. New York starts yelling at the now closed armoir. One of the doors opens again, and everyone runs out of the room. Eva is crying, and said someone pulled on her hair. New York is not surpirsed a child’s spirit would pull on Eva’s long hair.
Everyone works out together, and the men realize that Alaksa is more physically fit than all of them. I should hope so, when do any of them have to jump down in a split during a performance? Not Young Joc, who just sits and watches everyone do push ups.
The group hears an explosion outside, and go to check it out. They walk toward a fire pit, and circle with hooded figures, and the figures disappear! So spooky!! What will happen next week, it’s too spooky!
What did we learn this week- The cast of Love and Hip Hop don’t watch Drag Race! The shade of it all, as Latrice Royale would say. New York is non-stop entertainment, Alaska is possibly the biggest threat to everyone.
Also, I’m going to need the cast of Ghostbusters 2 to be Alaska, New York, Eva and Drita. I want to see this movie.
-Aoife, TV Guru