So, You’re Just Giving Blowies?

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Vanderpump Rules – Season 6 Episode 5 – Sex, Lies and Audiotape

Full disclosure.  We don’t find out what is on the audio! Fuck you Bravo.

Katie starts us off with her monologue on about being confused as to who she married.  Meh she knows.  Schwartz has no control yet won’t be controlled.  The staff works a shift at SUR with plenty of time in between tables to film scenes.

Brittany has to tell Jax how to make his drinks.  He says, “I know what I’m doing.” Nah bro, you suck at bartending- the proof is on camera. Brittany and Jax take Kentucky was based on Jax fat shaming Brittany.  This season of Vanderpump Rules is based on Jax sex shaming Brittany. Onward.

Katie gets along with Lala and gets the scoop on Schwartz.  Turns out she has the scoop on Rob Valletta.  Bro don’t try to get away with anything in LA.  We get to see his thirsty Beverly Hills rental.  This dude wants to be on TV more than Scheana.

Schwartz admits Sandoval is his True True love to his wife.  Lala is shocked that Ariana doesn’t want to fuck 24-7.  Brittany and Jax have a housewarming party which is such a bad idea for life but a good idea for reality tv.  Brittany and Kristen let Scheana know Rob made out with a hostess but Scheana says Rob doesn’t even like kissing OMG.   Overall all the rumors are very convienient in timing because you are filming. DUHDUHDUH.

Jax continues to dismiss Brittany as a human being.  Lala hears Jax being an ass and brings out the wildcard.  The audio!

Till Next Week!

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