Farewell Cartegena: A Wreck of a Ship, and Multiple Evacuations

housewives of new york city luann bethenny sonja prayerThe Real Housewives of New York City – Season 10, Episode 17, Ship Happens

It is morning in Cartengena, and a breakfast table is set up for the women. They all feel horrible from the dinner the night before. After breakfast, they will be whisked away to an island, where they will be alone with each other all day.  What could be more fun?The women gather one by one. Ramona suddenly remembers low moments from the night before. housewives of new york city season 10 episode 17 ramona
LuAnn tells the women she feels like the night before, she was sucker punched by Dorinda.
Dorinda arrives at breakfast, she and LuAnn immediately get into an argument.  LuAnn asks what have you done for me, which or course, makes me think of Janet Jackson.
Dorinda tells LuAnn she was lecturing her, after she has always been there for her. Dorinda tells LuAnn not to call her morning, noon, or night anymore, and do not ask her for her support.
Bethenny tells Dorinda not to do this.  Dorinda tells Bethenny to stop because “she has no skin in this game”.  Bethenny continues, telling Dorinda that LuAnn just got out of rehab, and give her a break.
Carole tells everyone to stop, then she and Bethenny snipe  at each other.
Sonja silences everyone, and tells them if they are acting like this now, what will they do when they are a boat on an island. Oh Sonja, someone will just be thrown overboard.
Bethenny tells Carole she can tell, and feel that Carole does not want to be friends anymore.  Carole tells Bethenny if she does not respond to her right away, Bethenny  cannot handle it, and Carole cannot handle that.
LuAnn can no longer deal, and leaves the table.

Tinsley wonders if she should cancel the boat trip.  She sees no one is having a good time, and worries about what could happen.
Bethenny tells the remaining women at the table how hurt she is.  Tinsley suggests that she and Carole just “shake it out”, Ramona gives advice,
Carole tries to get LuAnn and Dorinda to talk privately, and talks in whispers.
LuAnn and Dorinda hug.  LuAnn tells Dorinda she was not trying to judge her the previous night. Dorinda says she did feel judged and it did not feel good. housewives of new york city season 10 episode 17 dorinda luannOnce again, LuAnn says she did not mean to judge Dorinda, but her reaction was so dark, and Dorinda went “apeshit”.
Dorinda gets a little heated, while still speaking in low tones.  Dorinda says they have been friends for so long, and they should not let one incident get in the way.
LuAnn tells Dorinda and us how much Dorinda hurt her. Dorinda promises it will not happen again, and they hug.

Bethenny continues to talk at the table, and Carole returns.  She sits at the table as Bethenny talks about her, saying they are at code red. Everyone wonders why Bethenny is doing this.
Bethenny tells Carole she does not care if she heard everything she just said.
Carole tells Bethenny just because she is not crying does not mean she is not really hurting right now.  Bethenny says this hurts her so much, it is like losing a family member.  Carole tells Bethenny they should just try and have a good time.
As they leave the table, Carole tells Bethenny there is a torture museum in town.   Bethenny tells her this is the torture museum. At least they had a moment to laugh like that.

The ladies arrive on the yacht.  Sonja makes a toast to a great time.
Bethenny and Carole tell each other they love each other, and are sorry.  Carole tells us I love you does not quite does it, but it will do for now.
Sonja tells us everyone is in their element on this yacht, but Sonja seems to be enjoying everything more than anyone else.
They arrive at a tiny, private island, and the house is amazing.
Some of the women try to rescue a crab, but instead decide to put it in Ramona’s purse first. They end up hiding it with LuAnn, in the hammock she is using.
Ramona gets talked into getting into the hammock with LuAnn, and freaks out Ramona-style over the crab.  Hopefully, someone put the crab back in the ocean.

Sonja moons everyone, but Carole tells her the tags are still on her bikini.  She tells us she keeps her tags on, because if she wants to resell an item at a consignment store, you can more money if it has tags.
Everyone is having fun in the water, except for Dorinda.
Bethenny decides to get out of the water, and talk to Dorinda about how she is feeling.
Dorinda tells Bethenny she expected things to go different with LuAnn that morning.  She cries, and says she feels horrible  about hurting LuAnn.
Bethenny comforts her and hug her. housewives of new york city season 10 episode 17 bethenny dorinda She tells Dorinda to give herself a break, and things will be alright.
Sonja is a one woman party, which is good considering how the group feels at the moment.
Dorinda and LuAnn sit to talk again, hug, and apologize.  LuAnn tells us there is an issue with Dorinda getting angry when she drinks over and over, and she just wanted Dorinda to see that.  Dorinda tells us LuAnn is projecting, and she should worry about herself.

Ramona rocks Tinsley and Dorinda in the hammock.  Ramona gets really loud as she asks Tinsley what she wants to do with her life.  Ramona goes in for a hug, and Tinsley spills red wine all over her dress.
LuAnn and Sonja do a little rehearsal for LuAnn’s cabaret, and the other women gather to be their audience.  Carole tells us they have some kinks to work out before the show.

It is three in the afternoon, and suddenly,  the women must leave the island.  Apparently, at this time of  year, at this time of day off the coast of Cartegena, sea conditions get rough, and everyone must go back to land. LuAnn loses her cell phone.
Things are windy, and rough on the boat.  Sonja gets upset, but Tinsley says this happens all the time at this time of day, and it is normal.  Sonja does not believe her.  She and Tinsley get in a shouting match, about who is right. Sonja pees her pants, and Ramona laughs. Sonja, no consignment store is going to take your bikini now.
Some of the women start feeling seasick.
Sonja yells about how she is worried about her daughter, and tells Tinsley she does not know what she is feeling because she does not have children.
Carole gets sick in a bucket. Bethenny tries to tend to her, but a table and chairs fly at them.
Bethenny wonders where are the life jackets, in English and en Espanol, and why sirens are going off.
We are told by Bravo the crew had to stop filming for everyone’s safety.
They cut to the hotel. and all the women tell us what happened after filming stopped.  They started smelling smoke, because the ship was trying to bring up the anchor.  The captain ended up having to quickly cut off the anchor.  Everyone was alright, but more shook up than before.
Apparently, and understandably, the women partied hard that night.

The next morning, a lot of the women feel awful from being violently ill all night.  Apparently, at lunch the day before on the island, almost everyone ate bad paella.  Bethenny tells us that Ramona stole the toilet paper out of her room.  Sonja says they are “Out of the boat, but swimming in shit”.
As they pack, the women reflect on their trip.  Dorinda tells us the trip was a “shitshow”, in every way possible.  On the way out, LuAnn notices a poop stain on the stairs.  We are shown the staff cleaning up after the women.
See you back in the city, everyone!

What did we learn this week-  Do not be foul.  If you get violently ill on vacation, when you feel better, clean up after yourself as much as possible. Do not leave shit stains on stairs, or anywhere for hotel staff to clean up. Clean up your bodily fluids in general.

This trip was a disaster.  We have seen bad Housewives trips from all franchises, but this was one of the absolute worst. Fights, more fights, fights, and getting sick all over the hotel.
I’m sure back in NYC, things will be just as messy, but hopefully not this messy.

-Aoife, TV Maven


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