The Real Housewives of Dallas – Season 3, Episode 4, God Save the Queen, Bitch
It is the morning after the fight that ended with Brandi running upstairs, and crying for the rest of the night.
As she puts on the thickest lashes in existence, D’Andra fills in LeeAnne about the whole situation from the previous night. LeeAnne tells us this is why she did not stay up to drink with the women. Downstairs, Kameron still insists to Cary that Stephanie says she bashed an adopted baby. Cary tries to tell Kameron what actually happened.
Upstairs, Stephanie and Brandi decide they need to talk to Kameron, and work this out.
Cary is having some issues explaining things to Kameron, because she will not listen. In confessional, Cary calls Kameron a badger about twelve times, and Cary says she cannot handle trying to explain things to her.
Everyone gets dressed for snowmobiling. In the drama van, Kameron, Stephanie, and Brandi talk. Brandi tells Kameron the night before, she felt targeted. Kameron immediately says that is “just crazy”. Brandi says she felt like Kameron was making everything about her in that moment.
Kameron says it was out of being left out and she had a lot of questions. Stephanie apologizes for leaving Kameron out of things. Kameron apologizes, and they all agree they had too much to drink the night before.
Kameron tells Stephanie she still has a problem with her saying Kameron bashed a baby.
D’Andra jumps in, and tells Kameron sometimes you hear something which is not what was actually said. LeeAnne tells Kameron she is listening to Stephanie’s words, but not her intentions. In confessional, Cary wonders if they are all going ice skating in hell, because LeeAnne is being the voice of reason here.
Kameron says now that the air is cleared, it is time to follow her itinerary, because she spent a lot of time on it.
The ladies go snowmobiling! Kameron tells us the ladies think she is a delicate snowflake, but she really is an avalanche of fun. Bravo, may we have a show that is nothing but Kameron talking in confessional?
LeeAnne tells D’Andra if she kills her, she will haunt her “ass” forever.
Stephanie tells Brani the snowmobile feels nice on the vagina.
LeeAnne thinks snowmobiling is “Scary as shit”, but Cary seems to be loving it.
The women make it up to 12,000 feet, and look at the amazing view.
Brandi and D’Andra have another talk about the Adderall comment. Brandi tells D’Andra she did take it all personally, and wonders why D’Andra did not come to her if she thought Brandi had a problem. D’Andra says it was about herself. D’Andra tells Brandi she has ADD too, and that is why she said that.
Brandi tells us she now understands why D’Andra made this comment, because D’Andra is concerned about people abusing ADD medication.
D’Andra and Brandi make snow angels to commemorate their making up. In confessional, LeeAnne thanks Jesus for this.
Back at the lodge, it is time for shots! LeeAnne she feels more comfortable with the women, and feels comfortable enough to drink.
Kameron has pre ordered a bunch of food for everyone.
LeeAnne asks all the women, if they were stranded in the snow, would they eat a friend to survive. Stephanie seems to be the dinner of choice.
Stephanie tells us she is not surprised all the women want to eat her, because she is sweet and tender. This is good, because LeeAnne tells us Stephanie would probably be the first to die.
With this group of people, it is not surprising the conversation turned to cannibalism, specifically, who would get eaten first.
The women have a nice lunch, and Kameron is thrilled that everything is going so well with the group.
The ladies return to the house, exhausted from a day of snow, shots, and food. To unwind, they get really drunk.
Brandi takes off D’Andra’s shoes, and plays with her feet. D’Andra tells us she likes hanging out with Brandi, because it is like parting in college again.
The next morning, Stephanie prepares to leave the trip early, and join her family in Italy, for a vacation.
Brandi gets animated, as she tells Stephanie that D’Andra and LeeAnne got into an argument over who was the queen of the group.
Stephanie cannot believe “fifty year old women” are fighting over a non-existent crown.
Kameron has declared the day a free day, and rips up her itinerary, but says they all must show up for dinner. Everyone sees Stephanie off, as she driven to the airport.
Brandi pulls Kameron off to the side, and suggests they have a pageant with LeeAnne and D’Andra since they were arguing about who is the queen of the group.
Kameron tells us she is honored, and privileged to be a judge in this pageant, and says this means she and Brandi have reached another level of friendship. Pink Princess, as my co-creator of this site, Deidre calls Kameron, just seems to want friends.
Brandi and D’Andra go shopping. Brandi tells us she is having way more fun with D’Andra than she would have with LeeAnne.
D’Andra cannot buy everything she wants, because she has to save a little money for her new rival business to show Mama Dee she can be good at business too.
We all deeply feel her pain.
It is dinner time! Kameron says she loves a buffet but has to be cautious, because she will eat everything.
Brandi brings up the LeeAnne and D’Andra queen argument. In confessional, LeeAnne and D’Andra think Brandi is being ridiculous, and they never argued.
LeeAnne reminds everyone she has won seven pageants.
First, the contestants are asked rando questions, and LeeAnne gives the best pageant answers.
She is truly a champion, and this is an impressive odd skill to have.
D’Andra uses a fork as her mic, and is funny, but LeeAnne is a pageant queen!
LeeAnne and D’Andra have to ask each other a question.
D’Andra tells LeeAnne she happily married, and asks LeeAnne why she cannot be happily married like D’Andra, and why she is stalling her wedding
LeeAnne says it has been very difficulty with Rich being blinded, and he is going through some hard things because of it. D’Andra thinks LeeAnne is skirting the issue, and Rich gave her a ring to, “shut her up”, about getting married. D’Andra says having a date to set up a date is “bullshit”. Cary tells D’Andra that is “bullshit”, and LeeAnne is again asked why she is delaying the wedding.
LeeAnne says it is really because of her, she has been single her whole life, and she does not want to put Rich in a position where he will leave her. She thinks she is in a self-destructive relationship. LeeAnne says she does not think she is worthy enough of Rich, and that is one reason why they have not yet married.
Cary talks about her first divorce, and says it led her to meeting her soul mate.
D’Andra reminds LeeAnne what LeeAnne told her before marrying Jeremy.
She tells LeeAnne to please tell her what is really going on.
LeeAnne cries, and Brandi goes over to hug her. LeeAnne’s eyelash falls off, and Cary reapplies it. LeeAnne reminds us when you have an eyelash emergency, call a nurse. Yes! Nurses always come prepared.
The next morning, as the ladies get ready to leave, the pageant continues with the talent portion of the event.
D’Andra shows off her skills at “Butt Darts”. where you stick a quarter between your butt cheeks, and drop the quarter into a glass.
LeeAnne does the worst freestyle ever, and in confessional, D’Andra calls her Fifty Spent.
D’Andra wins the pageant because of the butt clenching. Kameron thinks this is distasteful.
Goodbye Beaver Creek! Goodbye Beaver Liquors!
What did we learn this week- Kameron seems to just want to have friends, but she needs to chill on the etiquette a bit, if she wants to be friends with this group of people.
Kameron, and Cary should have their own RHOD confessional show, with a few comments by LeeAnne in every episode.