The Real Housewives of Orange County – Season 13 Episode 13, Heat Waves and Hot Flashes
It’s time to go to Jamaica! Everyone packs for the trip. Kelly notes she has too many bathing suits, and “hooker clothes”. Gina’s three year old tries to pack herself in a suitcase. Dearest child, you do not want to be anywhere near some of the people your mom is about to go with on vacation.
The very first thing that happens after the group arrives in Jamaica, besides them complaining that it’s hot and humid, just shows how utterly tone-deaf are this group of Housewives.
Vicki busts out some “rasta” hats, complete with fake dreds. She has the gall to ask the driver, who is representing his company on camera, on a show that will be globally aired, if it is “alright” if they wear the hats. He of course says they can wear whatever they want, and they will look like “real Jamaicans”.
This is kind of like vacationing in Borough Park, Brooklyn, and asking the Lubavitch Jewish people if they can wear rabbi hats with fake payot, except worse.
Rastafari is a religion, dreadlocks are something worn for religious purposes, not for white women who come to vacation in their country.
Keep in mind all the working people in the Caribbean and other countries, who make a living in the tourist industry have to deal with this all the time. You cannot say no to guests.
The other women actually wear the hats after getting the okay from the driver, who now represents all Jamaican people in their eyes.
We are off to a great start here.
One sightly redeeming moment comes when all the women get off the bus, are given drinks. In the background, some of the staff, including the driver, laugh at how ridiculous they look.
When the women arrive at the hotel, they all turn into bratty ten year olds, claiming their beds. Kelly has been very mindful of what Gina and Emily have been telling her, so she asks Shannon if she would love to room with the two ladies. She tells Shannon this could give them a chance to get to know each other better. Shannon immediately shoots down this idea. Apparently, “Vacation Shannon” is not in the mood for new friends. Wow, fun. Is there a way we can get regular Shannon back, then?
This excitement is followed up with a pink salt spa treatment, with Shannon, Kelly, and Vicki.
For some reason, Shannon cannot stop laughing the entire time. Is Vacation Shannon emerging?
The next day, the women split up into two groups. The fun group go on a touristy outdoor adventure. Shannon and Vicki stay behind.
The fun group goes drinking while rafting. Then, they swing on a rope over some still body of water, with a man who calls himself “Tarzan”. Gina refuses to go into the water, which seems like a wise idea. Emily goes for it and jumps in.
Shannon and Vicki drink, and do their thing around the hotel. Vicki tells her horror story relationships to a bartender. We all wish we could heavily tip this woman, since she had to deal with this for who knows how long.
Thankfully for the staff of the hotel, the fun women come back, and that poor bartender is rescued from Vicki.
Gina and Emily join Shannon for a post fun time beer, but Shannon does not seem interested in the company at all. Emily tells us she is tired of trying to be friends with Shannon, when Shannon keeps brushing her off. Emily basically says it is a waste of time to try and make friends with Shannon. We completely agree at this point.
This fantastic episode ends with a dinner where everyone overheats, and unfortunately, Vicki seems like she is experiencing heat exhaustion.
Tamra and Shannon get into a massive fight at the table, but of course we will not even see the entire argument until next week.
Will Vicki have to go to the ER, especially being anywhere near this fight?
What did we learn this week- When you go to other places, be respectful of the people who live there. Recognize you are a guest in their place, whether it be in the US, but especially, outside the US.
Do not do what Vicki and the others did anywhere, ever.
Shannon and Vicki seem to really want this vacation, but they seem to be ruining a good time for everyone. This is especially true of Shannon. Again, if this is Vacation Shannon, may we never have to see her again?
-Aoife, TV Maven