Hatchet Party sans Danielle and Teresa: Actual Fun Times

housewives of jersey season 9 episode 2 melissa hatchetThe Real Housewives of New Jersey-  Season 9, Episode 2, Easter Wives Hunt

Margaret and Joe arrive at at a tattoo parlor.  Joe is getting a tattoo on his ring finger in lieu of a wedding ring, with their anniversary date.
Margaret mentions she is going away in two weeks.  She will be going to a children’s hospital to give out gowns she had made that look like costumes, and are more fun.   Thank you Margaret!
Jackie and her two sets of twins come to visit Melissa and her children.   While the children play in the giant game room, Melissa and Jackie have some wine.
Jackie tells us how chaotic it is having two sets of twins, but even the clips we are shown do not even come close to to what it must be like.  Jackie tells us her husband is a great father, and steps up when it comes to taking care of the children.  I wish people would treat fathers taking care of their children as how things should be, instead of some extra chore that is for women only.
The topic of Teresa comes up, Melissa briefly mentions that they had a really bad time at one point, not going into details.

Teresa, Gia, and Giacinto  get mani-pedis.  Giacinto tells Gia he will get red for his toenails.
Teresa’s brother Joe is brought up.  Teresa tells us Giacinto is lonely, and we are shown a clip of Giacinto saying Joe has not called him in two weeks.  Teresa also tells us that she feels Joe has not been around enough.  She says their relationship is better now, but she does not like that Joe is not there for their dad.  Ruh roh, this is not a good sign for the Gorgas.

Margaret visits Danielle.  They have some positive energy tea, and talk about Melissa’s party.  She is glad nothing happened, and feels good that if they just stay away from each other nothing is happen
Margaret mentions the hatchet throwing event Dolores is throwing.  Danielle gets upset, and tells Margaret that she is very upset she is going to Dolores’s party.
Margaret tries to tell her this has nothing to do with her, but Danielle tells Margaret it hurts her that she is going to this part.  Danielle asks Margaret what she and Danielle have in common, asking if it is because “she cheated on your husband and you got cheated on”.  Damn, Danielle.  I guess that positive energy tea did not work.

Danielle says this is what she does when she is hurt, and other people do not get this side of her since she actually cares about Margaret.
Margaret tries to comfort Danielle, and tell her she is there for her, but Danielle tells her she is done, and does not want to talk anymore.  It is absolutely awkward as Margaret puts on her coat, and leaves.
We also see another delicious meal goes wasted on another episode of the Housewives.

It is time for Dolores’s hatchet-throwing party!  Jennifer is the first one to arrive, and brings snacks.
housewives of jersey season 9 episode 2 hatchet small
Melissa also brings a dish, and throws the hatchet but misses.  Margaret tries, misses.  Then, everyone drinks the wine Margaret brought.
Dolores tells everyone to use the hatchet throwing as a chance to get their aggression out.
Jennifer tells the women what she needs to do in her life, and what stress she wants to get out.  We learn all about Jennifer’s life and family, and she tells us about them in confessional.  Editors at Bravo,could you have not slipped this in somewhere else?
Margaret tells the ladies what happened with Danielle that morning.  Dolores tells Margaret this is the way Danielle acts, and Margaret tells everyone she is stressed out.  She tells the women she is going to Oklahoma to give out her hospital gowns, and invites them all to come with her, and stay on her friend’s ranch.
Jackie successfully throws a hatchet, and rings that bell hard!

The next morning, at Jennifer’s house, she tells Nabil she will be going to Oklahoma with the ladies for three days.  Nabil tells Jennifer she is not going anywhere.  Jennifer has never spent a night away from her family.
Jennifer tells Nabil she wants to get a chance to get to know the women better, and Nabil gets really jerktastic.  Nabil finally agrees, after he mentions to Jennifer twice, how hard it will be for him to be around with the children without her.  You have a nanny!
Jennifer tells her children, who are all not pleased at the news.

Teresa goes to see Tracy,  her trainer.  Tracy is extremely upset that Teresa has not been keeping up with her routine, and tells Teresa she looks like a “pile of shit”.  Teresa tries to explain all the stress she has been under, but Tracy does not want to hear it, nor does she want Teresa to have chocolate eggs on Easter.  Teresa tells Tracy she is going away for a few days, and Tracy does not like the sound of that.  She tells Teresa if she does not get serious, and look better next time they meet, Teresa can find another trainer.  Tracy does not mess around!

Margaret and Joe take Marge Sr. in to get her facelift.  Marge Sr. gets marked up, and Margaret tells her she looks like Pennywise.
Margaret is concerned. She tells us her mother looks like a road map, and this procedure is more serious than she thought.
Six hour later Margaret is worried, and wants to know how is her mother.  Finally, the doctor comes out, and says Marge Sr. did really well.  Things took so long, because she had to had her face lasered.
Margaret sees her mother, tells her she looks good, and looks like Death Becomes Her.
That is an improvement!

It is Easter, and Teresa is getting the house ready for dinner.  Giacinto has been pre-gaming, telling Teresa he has already had two bottles of wine. Teresa is unable to drink, or eat anything at this meal, which is sad.
Joe and Melissa arrive, and Giacinto immediately says he has not called him in two weeks. Joe laughs it off, which upsets Teresa. housewives of jersey season 9 episode 2 joe dad2 Giacinto goes off on Melissa and Joe that it is a shame, because he has not seen or heard from them in so long.
At the table, Giacinto gives a tearful toast to his wife,  and then makes it known that he wants Joe to be around more.
Teresa asks Joe what he is going to do.  Melissa does not appreciate this, thinking Teresa is putting Joe on the spot in front of everyone for no reason.
Again, ruh roh.
Joe tells his sister he works all the time and is busy, and Teresa tells Joe she is tired of hearing that excuse. Thankfully, one of Joe and Melissa’s children asks what is going on with the egg hunt.
Joe pulls his sister off to the side, and tells her not to talk to him about these issues in front of everyone the way she just did .  Joe tells Teresa he works fifteen hours a day, but Teresa thinks that is a bad excuse.
Melissa walks in on them, and tells Teresa not to push Joe.  Melissa is afraid Joe will explode.  Gia comes in, and tells her aunt and uncle what is going on.  Gia says she understand Joe works a lot, but to his father at least once a week.  Melissa tells Joe to talk to Teresa, and not his niece.  Gia reminds everyone she hears everything the adults say, and she just wants to let them know her grandfather wants to talk to, and see them more often.  Go Gia!
Teresa then jumps on Joe, and yells more for no reason, since Joe has been thoroughly schooled by his seventeen year old niece.
Let us hope Teresa is not going to start a Gorga war again.

What did we learn this week –   Teresa is going to start another feud in her family, in a completely misguided attempt to keep her family together.  Joe and Melissa should see Giacinto more, or at least call him more often, but Teresa is going about making it happen in the wrong way.  It is also really sad that a seventeen year old girl had to lay down the law, also reminding them that children and teenagers still hear everything adults say to each other.

-Aoife, TV Maven


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